Perfect is the enemy of done

One thing I struggled with "in the real world" is the idea that good enough is sometimes all you can get. I definitely shifted in how I see things—at my job we are not purists creating software sculptures, we are writing code to solve our problems in a pragmatic way. I might have a ton of ideas on how something could be better, but a million other priorities force these to be left on the perpetual backburner. Its hard to accept that not everything you put out there can be polished, not everything you create is gonna be beautiful. There can be really ugly code that just works reliably day in and day out. I used to be bothered by this and spend a lot of my own time making sure that all the details were perfect, but these days I lean to wards if its good enough, just send it.

It's so easy to delay putting something out there because it's "not perfect". There's always things that could be better—but the idea of the perfect experience, the perfect moment, the perfect anything, is really just a limiting belief. It holds you back from sharing things that are "pretty good" in the course of normal life. Not everything you put out there is a statement about yourself or the world, its good to just enjoy things for the sake of it.

The bar that we all hold ourselves to is generally so much higher than the bar that we hold for others. At work I had this three day workshop where we talked about stuff like your Meyers-Briggs personality type, communication styles, giving feedback, pretty corporate but it was actually a nice session. We had a section of the class where everyone explicitly asked for feedback on some aspect of themselves, like "do I tend to dominate conversations too much" or "am I too passive in group settings". It was cool to see because the things that people brought up as concerns were basically all things that they were already very aware of and most of the time their strength instead of their weakness. In the feedback sessions people had so many nice things to say, even after just meeting each other the day before. I left with the feeling that everyone assumed positive intentions and positive vibes by default—most things you say and share actually reflect favorably on you as a person. Turns out people actually like getting to know who you are on a deeper level.

People don't want to see perfect people, they want to see human beings and understand the person on the other side of that interaction. Most appreciate authenticity and seeing something that breaks through the usual facade. At the same time, its tough—most are waiting for you to take the first step in vulnerability before they reciprocate. Its tough to deal with the fear of others seeing your imperfections, and I'm super guilty of falling into this trap myself. Even for this blog I haven't told many people because it feels cringe and "not yet amazing" enough to show. Its the easiest thing to avoid putting yourself or something you made out there because it's not ready by your standards, even if people actually like it and get value from it.

It feels so hard as a beginner to take the leap into starting something new. We've all felt it before: the burst of motivation when you begin a new workout plan, the grandiose visions when starting a new hobby. The inevitable plateau when progress isn't as fast or as tangible as you expect. It feels so tough to break the mold and tell others you're trying something new. It doesn't "feel like you" and the things you're doing don't feel familiar or comfortable. It can be so hard to keep going when there's no "results" for the things you're trying out.

I try and remind myself that all great things take a few rounds of iteration. You can't really get good at something if you're not willing to be bad first. Whether its writing or coding or crocheting or anything, no one pops out as an expert from the start. It takes a while to ramp up and make adjustments, and the signal you get from trying things and failing is a necessary part of what eventually brings success. Whatever you want to good at, the key to getting good is just doing it. Not thinking about doing it, not planning the tangential things around doing it, not even telling others that you're doing it. It sounds simple, but its really the hardest thing. You just have to focus and stay consistent day in and day out.

What I mean by "perfect is the enemy of done" is that there are so many things that can hold you back from doing what you want to do. Life is messy and busy and imperfect and sometimes you can only make progress in jagged stages. At the end of the day, the people who can make real progress on their goals are the ones who can abandon the need to do everything the "right" way and just progress however they can. In the real world, you don't get A+'s for doing good work, you don't get a sign that you're living life correctly, you generally don't even get much feedback from the people around you about how you're doing. If you wait for a sign that things are going perfectly, you'll lose out to the people who can just push forward every day and keep inching tangibly towards their goals.

The longer you wait for "perfect", the more you hold yourself back from "done".